Part IV Home Schooling My Imaginary Friend

My older brother went to school two years before I did. It was during his first grade year that I became very jealous of him because he got to get out of the house and learn things while I was stuck at home with a crying brother and that woman who hated me. I once again relied upon my imagination to take me away from all of that. I decided that I was going to start going to school too. I am not sure where it came from but we had an extra lunch box along with the wonderful little thermos that came along with it. It was an Archie's lunch box with embossed pictures of the whole gang on its metal front. The hinges were all rusty and the handle was as well making a wonderful squeeking noise as I would lug it along on my way to school (the front porch). I would carry my crayola crayons and my watercolors in my lunch box along with my favorite coloring books which as it turned out were great text books when you a child is teaching himself. I realize to this day I can not smell crayons without thinking back to my childhood and the creative process that went into coloring an elephant or flower. I had a friend that I would meet up with at "school" and his name was Rudy Kazootee. I can only guess on the spelling because he never wrote it down. Me and Rudy would listen closely as the imaginary teacher talked about what I had just learned from Sesame Street. Rudy was not as smart or talented as I was, but he always agreed with me. As I think now Mom must have really enjoyed the fact that I was teaching Rudy so that she didn't have to. I would stay at "school" most of the afternoon. On cold days "school" would have to be cancelled and poor Rudy wouldn't get to share in my knowledge. It was a grand day indeed when I was finally able to go to a real school and attend Kindergarten like a normal kid and Rudy, well he and I just parted ways. I think about him as I write and wonder how he ever turned out.

Kindergarten was supposed to be the most wonderful time of my life. It turned out entirely different than what I would have expected. I do remember the nap mats, the horrible smell of rotting milk, and the first woman who ever scared the living crap out of me. My kindergarten teacher died a few years before I was a student of hers, but no one told her. Her skin was a pasty grey color which actually matched her hair. Her voice was soft and warm, but she could lose that tone at the drop of a dime. I remember many a day staring at my nap mat knowing that if I raised my head she would raise her voice and that scared me into keeping my head on that mat. I was never a kid that took naps easily there always had to be some kind of con artistry to convince me it was a good idea. After the nap all the fun began. The Letter People would show up at the door and the teacher would invite them in. These inflatable letters were gonna change my life. I always watched the show on PBS but now I was getting to meet them in person what a thrill. I was a good student but always, always, always a daydreamer. The best part of kindergarten was the graham crackers and milk that we got as a snack. It was especially awesome because we could have chocolate milk rather than that white garbage that Mom served at home. Having had a head start in school by home schooling my friend Rudy I was well ahead of the game and Kindergarten was a breeze. I couldn't wait to see how smart I would get in the first grade.